Today we go in for an ultra sound and it’s the big, exciting and greatly anticipated appointment where we find out the gender of our precious baby! We are so pumped and excited to know that we FINALLY get to know if we are having a little boy or a little girl. Eeeek!!!
Though today is exciting, there’s a small part of me that’s trying not to worry. See, not only do they do a gender scan but it’s at this ultra sound that they do what they call an anomaly scan. From what I understand, the ultra sound is not short and quick like our previous ultra sounds, but more lengthy because they will be looking closely at Baby Gray, taking pictures and measurements and making sure there are no indications of anything abnormal.
Ever since we went “public” with what we have gone through, there has been this little fear in the back of my mind asking if the sorrow of our baby journey is not over yet. What if now we have our biggest hurdle we’ve gone through yet, and bad something is going to happen so God can once again continue to use us for his glory and draw people unto. And through our struggles I felt really close to God so what if he causes something bad to happen so he can continue to show me his love.
I was sharing this fear with a close friend these fears and she first reminded me 1) that’s it’s not us that lead people to Christ. God does that. There are other ways that God can use us to lead people to him other than sorry, loss and devastation.
2) God does not show his love by hurting his people. How bad of an example would that be if the only way parents showed their children love was by hurting them?
3) Instead of expecting the bad, I need to expect the good. I am God’s child and his word says that “surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalm 23:60). Now of course, that doesn’t mean I’m saying, “I’m Christ’s daughter so therefore my life is going to be perfect and nothing will ever go wrong.” We all know that not to be true. However, I will expect and anticipate God’s best for me and rest in His plans that he has for me – plans to prosper and not to harm me (or my child) and plans to give us all a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Whatever happens, we will NOT be walking through this alone.
Here’s to not being perfect all the time and still working through our struggles and questions. Thanks for reading
We’ll be publically announcing the gender tomorrow! Ahhhhhhhh!